End of a Chapter and Beginning of the Next

Last week was my last week of student teaching in 4th grade. In all honesty, it was all very bittersweet for me. I really liked the school I was at…. I liked all the staff and I adored the kids. They are all such great kids. So, it was hard for me to leave, especially since the school year is not over for them. It’s hard explaining that I am done with school while they are still in school. On my last day, all three 4th grade classrooms went on a field trip to Legoland. Let’s just say, whatever the salary is for the employees at Legoland, it is nowhere near enough. There were kids, toys, and chaos everywhere you look. Sensory overload does not even begin to describe what it’s like there. But, the kids had a blast, so it was all worth it! When we got back, they had a little farewell party for me. The kids made cards and some even brought me gifts. My cooperating teacher and the other 4th grade teachers gave me gifts and everyone wished me the best of luck. It was a wonderful send off that made me feel like I am well on my way to being a pretty good teacher!

While I was sad to leave, this week also marked a lot of extremely happy things for me. I officially passed the edTPA. I earned an A in my final class, solidifying my 4.0 GPA. I will be graduating in June, complete with the honor of Sigma Alpha Pi due to my grades. And I am transitioning to a long term substitute teaching position immediately after student teaching. All in all, it was a pretty good week!

Which brings me to this week. Yesterday was my first day filling in for the Reading Specialist at a new school. It is a middle school and I will be working with 6th, 7th, and 8th graders through the end of their school year. It is considered a pull out program, with the goal of helping students improve their literacy comprehension. Because of this,the class sizes are small. My largest two classes have a total of eight students and the smallest two classes have just four students. The school is also testing a new program called Achieve 3000 which I will be rolling out with these students.

My first day was in a co-teaching setting with another Reading Specialist. But, as of today, I am officially on my own. The environment is completely different than an intermediate school, to say the least. My overall size and stature does not exactly demand authority, so I feel I am entering this experience at a disadvantage. Navigating the halls during transitions is quite similar to a cattle drive. The students seem indifferent, displaying their best “whatever” faces and attitudes throughout the day. After the first day, I felt confident in my skills navigating the classroom and conducting myself as a teacher but was still weary about the students.

This morning I returned for day two. One of my 6th grade students was waiting outside when I got here and mumbled a “G’morning Ms Daley.” Progress. She actually did remember my name, so she must have been somewhat paying attention yesterday. The troublesome boy in 2nd period seemed to be in better spirits today and I chalked that up to another small victory. In homeroom, several of the students referred to me by name and at the end of the period several of them said “Have a good day, Ms Daley”. Another victory. I smiled to myself as I managed to get back to my classroom without getting trampled. And then the four 8th grade boys in my 6th period walked all over me. Figuratively, not literally. Although literally is possible since they are the equivalent of football players. Minimal work was accomplished and I spent most of the time checking in with them repeatedly to see just what the frak they were working on (yes, that is a BSG term for all my fellow sci-fi nerdies). Clearly those boys will be a handful…. little do they know more busy work is in their future. The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, aside from the 7th grade boy who insists on speaking in a British accent. It’s actually quite entertaining watching a struggling reader attempt to read aloud in a faux British accent. Might be beneficial to lose the accent in my class, Mate. 

Take that, edTPA!

I’m not going to lie, it has been quite a week.

We had class this past week and I was pretty distant. Yes, we had a presentation to do and yes I think I did alright for my part (we got 100%, so I guess it went fine). But, quite honestly, my mind has been anywhere else but the present. I have been worried about passing the edTPA, so much so that it has been haunting my dreams.

There’s the one where I scored a 26, when I need a 35 or more to pass.

Then there’s the one where I forgot to upload most of the bazillion supporting docs. Seriously, there’s like a dozen separate files to properly name and upload.

Bottom line, all my nightmares lead to me not passing for one reason or another.

Then came Thursday. The day when everything would present itself. I was terrified. I didn’t want to check my email or the edTPA website and yet I could not help but hit refresh over and over and over all day long. Until it happened. The email from my professor. Deep breath. Tap to open. Another deep breath. And……

I passed! Someone asked about my score and I quickly said I have assumed a new motto – never ask a woman her age, her weight, or her edTPA score. I’m not going to lie, my score is not phenomenal. But, guess what? It’s a passing score and that’s all that matters. I passed and I will soon officially become a teacher.

It is a huge accomplishment on so many levels. First of all, I succeeded! I passed the edTPA and I am officially graduating with my Masters, not to mention a 4.0 GPA. If you would have asked me 20 years ago if I saw myself as a college graduate, I would have laughed. At that time I barely attended community college. Neither of my parents went to college and, quite honestly, I’m pretty sure my dad never finished high school. It’s not like I would have been disappointing anyone. So, Grad school with the honor of Sigma Alpha Pi makes me damn proud, if I do say so myself.

But, it’s not just the fact that I worked my butt off and did well. I DID it. If you asked me as a child what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer was always a teacher. Ever since kindergarten. Then in 3rd grade I had an amazing teacher and decided to narrow my dream to becoming a 3rd grade teacher. And that was always my dream. Ask my bestie and in a heartbeat she would say that was my plan. Ask my hubby and he would say I wished I became a teacher. So this was my second chance at fulfilling my lifelong dream and I DID it.

And now, amidst all this personal celebration, I am wrapping up my student teaching in 4th grade. Has anyone noticed how close my student teaching placement is to my above mentioned dream job…? Anywho, while I am thrilled to be at the end of the program, I am so sad to leave these 4th graders. They have taught me so much and they have helped me grow immensely. As the last few days are winding down, they keep asking me to stay, which makes me feel like I’ve done something right. All the hard work has paid off. Mostly in ways that cannot be measured by a test score, a research paper, or an intense state application.

I’ve attached a picture of the edTPA handbooks, my official submission, and the supporting documents to show how much went in to submitting the edTPA. Keep in mind, we submitted just one month into our final quarter. And, for the record, everyone in my cohort passed. Go team!!

The Beginning of the End 

Even though these last two weeks were short weeks, they have been pretty busy. I had my midterm appraisal from my cooperating teacher and my university supervisor last week and everything seems to be going really well. I feel like I am doing well with my student teaching, which makes me dislike this whole edTPA process even more. My future is in the balance of something that, in my opinion, does not effectively assess my role as a teacher. It’s frustrating at best. And, honestly, this is where I really want to stomp my feet and shout “It’s not fair!” But, I continue to wait and hope for the best. There really isn’t much more I can do at this point. The waiting is torture and I hope to see my score soon so I can either move on or prepare my resubmission. 

Friday all three 4th grade classes gathered for the first of several mini assemblies for “Erin’s Law” to discuss children’s safety on a variety of levels. Since this was the first lesson, they mostly discussed making good choices and making sure a responsible adult is available. At one point the 4th graders were asked how many are home alone for extended periods of time and how many 4th graders are left in charge of younger siblings. The results were overwhelming to me…. So many students raised their hands! And while I understand the question might be subjective, meaning some of the kids might have raised their hand because their parent has maybe gone next door to a neighbor really quickly or even out to the garage therefore this child had been home alone briefly, I couldn’t help but wonder just how many of these nine and ten year olds actually have been left home alone. It is a little concerning to me and makes me wonder what other concerns I will encounter during my career as a teacher. 

This week was Spirit Week as well as a shortened week for the students. All of the days were Dr. Seuss themed in honor of his birthday this week. Monday we wore green, Tuesday was crazy hat day, Wednesday was crazy socks day, and Thursday was pajama day. I think Tuesday and Thursday were my favorite days, mostly because I had the opportunity to rock an awesome hat on Tuesday and on Thursday I was able to work in my jammies, complete with comfy slippers. In honor of Dr. Seuss, here’s one of my favorite of his quotes:

Spirit Week felt well timed for me. I have begun giving back classes to my cooperating teacher and as of next week, I will only be teaching math. I plan to observe other classrooms during my free times to not only see how other teachers manage their classrooms but also to see what other grade levels are like. I think I know what grade levels I would prefer to teach, but I do also want to not only keep my options open but also make sure I am well-rounded. Knowing that my time here is coming to an end is bittersweet. I am excited to move on to my next steps and to ultimately find a full time job. I feel like it has been a challenging journey to this point and I definitely have my eyes on the finish line. But, I do like my host school and I love the kids. I am sad that I won’t see them to the end of their school year. They keep asking me so many questions about why I won’t be here after March 17th and if I will be back next year. I would love to stop by at the end of their school year to see them again. And maybe by then I will have some answers as to where I will be working next school year.